Sunday, 20 December 2015
Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards
Why have I started making videos? Well after the filming on Friday I was really proud that I hadn't let my nerves get the better of me and that I had taken back the power to be how I want to be rather than letting fear control me - that took a lot of work by the way! But I was also really disappointed as although I had spoken about my challenge and how I had got to that point, I didn't really manage to get across the journey that I was on or insights that had come up along the way...you can't schedule inspiration, especially with a head that works on its own terms! Lol. So I thought why don't I just start making short videos whenever I feel inclined to do so - which is what I am doing!
I spoke a bit yesterday about being a perfectionist and trying to unlearn that. At the start of my 100 job challenge I had a list of 100 jobs that I wanted to try, the plan was set I just had to follow it - just how I liked it! But pretty rapidly things would happen, such as my condition getting worse, suddenly not hearing from the job or whatever - something would happen that meant I had no choice but to deviate from the plan. Can you imagine how annoying that was, I had even worked out the order of the jobs so that one would help with the other and now all of a sudden the order was getting changed and there was nothing I could do about it! Now i realise how ignorant that was - life is unpredictable and that is what makes it beautiful! How could I possibly anticipate the best journey for me to take in a world of infinite possibilities?! I now go entirely with the flow! My list is null and void! If I see a job i fancy trying, I send an e-mail - if I don't hear back it wasn't meant to be. If someone asks me to try a job and I really don't want to do it, I say yes anyway! If suddenly get to ill to go to a job - I thank them for their generosity and apologise profusely - If they are happy to reschedule excellent if they don't respond then that is all part of the journey. At my interview on Friday he asked what jobs I would really like to try - It made me realise I am so into just going with the flow in relation to my challenge that I hadn't given it any consideration - I actually couldn't answer! I just know that wherever this is meant to lead it will happen with no input from me! Life knows far better than I do and I trust that now! I am working on applying that to every area of my life...I didn't say it was easy but it is certainly worth it! So far I have found that if something becomes a struggle then I am probably trying too hard with something that isn't meant for me! I have put a lot of time, passion and energy into my challenge, but no real effort. When you want to do something and you know it's right then I don't think any effort is required - effort to me means it's something you don't want to do or isn't right for you if you have to try that hard at it! That being said its a lot of work overcoming fears that I come up against in my head, but again I don't see it as an effort because it's something I wholeheartedly want to do.
I love writing and really enjoy it as a way of communication (something I never knew until I started my challenge). I'm not sure videos are my forte, but they are a great way to instantly record what I'm thinking! Sometimes it all comes to me too quickly to write it all down before I forget, so a video could be the solution to that! Plus I can't be as perfect with a video as I can with writing as it's instant - I can keep remaking it but it will be different every time! It's not like writing where I can spend hours rereading and reworking it until I'm happy with it - I have to just do it and then send it out into the big wide world! I've been watching live videos by an inspirational speaker called Scott Stabile (you should check him out), I love them because they make you feel way more connected to the person which is awesome! Writing connects differently as I think it gives you the time and space to explore what is being said in your own time and in your own way. Anyway I think that's all for now! Follow me on my Facebook page 100 Job Challenge if you would like to check out my videos! Thank you for your support. Much love Bobbie xxx